Page 2 - MAR RAPNEWS 2017
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In Search of the Merry Sensible Widow

                                            “Many animals and clothes piled on the porch and change the locks on the doors. I’ll
                                            some birds especially drive you to his office and you can get his car and then close all

                                            geese, when losing a his charge accounts. Publish an ad in the Town Talk notifying the
                                            mate, are rapidly world that you are no longer responsible for his debts. Without
                                            relegated to the lowest your money he can’t afford anything – especially a girl friend.”
                                            rung in the ranking
                                            order of the herd or Mama was right as usual. Mary and her husband stayed married
                                            flock. The behavior of for another 40 years. I still can’t understand why she fought to

                                            animals and birds is keep him. He drank too much, laughed too loud and was generally
                                            closely related to a complete bore. Mama’s friends called him a gigolo and when I
                                            society’s attitude to asked what that was Mama said an amusing gentleman, but ladies
widows,” said the host of an otherwise interesting program I should never use the word.
watched recently.

                                                                   A widowed friend was a great source of comfort to me when my
“I never heard anything so absurd I my life,” I said to my television husband died. I asked her how she managed to deal with the
set. I frequently criticize my television set for the quality of the changes in her life. She said she had a cadre of new friends - all
movies and programs it offers. “Are widows members of an widows. They met once a week and she invited me to join them. I
invisible minority and I didn’t know about it?” I demanded. Wisely, did.
my television set did not respond.

                                                                   All women alone. All talking about days gone by. All living in the
I began to remember comments widows have made about never past where they were happy. Their intention to remain cloistered
hearing from their married friends and not being invited to parties. in a world of past glory set off a jangle of alarm bells in my brain.
One friend said,” I haven’t just lost my husband, I’ve lost all our The black veil is not for me. But apparently for widows the choice
friends, too.” I found that statement shocking and mistakenly is clear – one can be a Merry Widow (flirtatious) or a Black Widow

thought at the time it was her unfortunate experience. (dangerously alluring to men). I thought it over and I think the
                                                                   best choice for me that holds the greatest interest is to be a Merry
I decided to ask other widows about changes they had endured Black Widow.
and it was a revelation to me how rudely widows are treated. Even
making a purchase is difficult - If not impossible. Because many Widows say they are told over and over again by those they know

widows have no personal credit history. Apparently the only thing well – and even those they do not know at all – to marry again –
people will sell a widow is a burial plot.                         and quick!

Thankfully, I have always been a person with my own identity. Continued on page 7
Mainly because my mother, who was always right, insisted that
everyone “Stand on their own two feet”. She was light years                                 RAPIDES NEWS
ahead of her time. There was no crisis she could not handle – no            A publication by Rapides Council On Aging.
problem she could not resolve – no person straying from the
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                                                                          Executive Director and Editor, Bettye DeKeyzer
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straight and narrow she could not bring to heel – and she knew no  The editorial content and views expressed in the Rapides
                                                                      News Magazine does not constitute endorsement by
                                                                               Rapides Council On Aging, Inc.

“Mary, where is your pride? Take charge of the situation,” Mama           Cover Image: White Camellia, photo by Suzanne James
said to a sobbing friend who was dealing with an unfaithful
husband. “Go to the bank and withdraw all your money, have his

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