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Dear Bettye: What can I do I receive many emails with the same question every year. My
                                 with Christmas gifts that are not advice is the same to all of them. Just tell her in advance she

                                 something I like? Can I give must give a gift in order to receive one. If she will not agree
                                 them to a charity?                     then remove her name from the drawing.

                                 I was taught to appreciate all Dear Bettye: My gentleman friend is being pursued by one of my
                                 gifts tasteful or not. A               friends. He told me she asked him to a Christmas party. What can
                                 donation to a charity could he do to discourage her calling him?

                                 end up their favorite gift
                                 shop. Store every gift and ten What you need to understand is she is not your friend and he
                                 years from now they will be must tell her he is in a relationship and won’t accept any
retro and fashionable and you will love them.                           further calls from her. If he doesn’t then you should end your
                                                                        relationship with him.

Dear Bettye: We are giving our parents a 40th anniversary party and
I am playing a tape of my performance in a concert. I thought it Dear Bettye: I am at the end of my rope when it comes to people
would be nice to have copies of the tape people could buy.              and Christmas. The grandchildren change their minds every day
                                                                        about what they want; my children think it is all a big bore and my
You should think again. It would be lovely to play a tape of friends – most of them are retired - aren’t even going to have a
your music, but you cannot use a social event to sell anything. small tree or decorations because it’s too much bother. I love the

Dear Bettye: I don’t understand why people who hate each other          season and love to decorate, cook and bake. Am I all alone in this?

pretend they are friendly at Christmas gatherings. What do you          No, you are not alone. But those who enjoy the simple joys of
think?                                                                  the season are getting rare. Get your grandchildren what you
                                                                        want them to have and if they do not like it they can exchange

I think we as civilized people, set aside the holiday season as a it. Ignore your bored children and depressing friends and have
time to act and speak in a way we should all year long, but can a really wonderful Christmas. Decorate, bake and cook for
only stand it for about two weeks – enjoy the two weeks.                your own enjoyment. I will be baking, cooking and decorating,
                                                                        too. Merry Christmas!
Dear Bettye: I play Santa Claus for our club and the beard and hair

are horribly itchy. I was told no one should scratch in public. What Dear Bettye: We never know what to expect when we open our
can I do?                                                               Christmas presents from my mother-in-law. One year she gave all
                                                                        her sons-in-law hammers, but last year was worse of all because
What you must do is develop a few hand gestures that will ease she gave us ties that light up. Could our wives suggest handker-
your suffering. Pretend to hide our eyes and rub the wig where chiefs or something?
it itches. As a child tells you what they want for Christmas you

can rub your beard. I will be at the Christmas party and can’t I would look forward with the greatest enjoyment to a present
wait to see what you do.                                                form someone who was so unpredictable. I think it isn’t the gift
                                                                        you resent so bitterly, but rather the giver.
Dear Bettye: I am tired of loud Christmas parties, but I don’t want to
offend my friends who invite me to several parties. I do not enjoy all Dear Bettye: What can I say to my father-in-law who stuffs money

the drinking and loud laughter and would leave early with a flimsy in envelopes for everyone for Christmas? I have suggested he
excuse. What can I do?                                                  could give gift certificates but he says he can’t stand going to stores
                                                                        during the Christmas holidays. What do you think?
The notion that only merrymakers at loud, wild soirees are
celebrating Christmas is totally wrong. Accept invitations to I think any gift someone gives to me for Christmas is
gatherings where you will be comfortable, enjoy an evening of wonderful. Especially lots of marvelous green money. It’s so

interesting conversation and be with friends who celebrate              festive!
Christmas joyously and quietly.
                                                                                  Send your comments and
                                                                                                questions to:
Dear Bettye: We draw names in our club for Christmas gifts and the         
same thing happens every year. One member gives a card that says

she donated to her charity in their name and that member doesn’t
get a gift, but she does. How can we avoid the problem this year?

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